“Workaholic yuppie Conor is in an existential rut until one night he catches a bizarre ad for a party hotline hosted by a strange dancing goblin: Frankie Freako. Could this be just the recipe to spice up his boring life?”
Smoke Em If You Got Em, We’re Going For a Ride
It’s not hip to be square. Not to Conor’s (Conor Sweeney) wife Kristina (Krista Wordsworth) anyway. She’s a beautiful British bombshell, and he’s an office nerd who tucks his shaker sweater into his acid-wash jeans when he’s not wearing a suit. Conor thinks caffeine is a drug, and that people should be in bed by 8:00 on Friday night. Think of any SNL skit revolving around a 1980s dork, and that’s Conor. When Kristina goes away for the weekend, Conor decides to work on upping his street cred (holla!), orders a pizza for dinner (gasp!) and stays up late, like 8:30 LATE. To his shock and dismay, a 1-900 party line commercial comes on the television, complete with a sultry voice and a finger-twisting through a telephone cord, promising callers a night of fun for only $2 per minute. This is writer/director Steven Kostanski’s world though, so it’s not a sexy lady on the screen–it’s Frankie Freako.
Frankie is a crude puppet resembling a cross between the Whammy demon (Press Your Luck, 1983-1987) and Danny DeVito. He and his puppet buddies Dottie Dunko and Boink Bardo (Meredith Sweeney voices both) magically transport themselves through the telephone line and into Conor’s home, which they absolutely destroy the frat-boy style. Conor wakes up to find toilet paper hanging from the ceiling, 80s style graffiti spray painted on the walls, and crumpled cans of “Fart” soda littering every surface… and Polaroid proof of his participation. It seems that Frankie and friends have appeared to teach Conor how to have fun before his wife returns.
That’s the only plot point, really. Frankie Freako is 85 minutes of total nonsense, but that’s what Kostanksi was aiming for. It’s a nod to 80s classics like Ghoulies and Gremlins, with Conor representing Gizmo (innocent until fed caffeine). The writing is “okay” at best, but the acting is pretty good. Adam Brooks plays Conor’s boss “Mr. Beuchler”, a greasier version of Gary Cole’s “Bill Lumbergh” (Office Space, 1999) with the perfect amount of smarminess, and Conor Sweeney is the quintessential dork as “Conor”. Both characters drive a dry humour that Kostanski stitches between scenes of over-the-top bad puppetry and fart jokes. Frankie Freako leaves “bad” behind at the 60 minute mark and drives straight toward “awful”. And it sticks the landing! And that’s a good thing. Nobody is going to watch this movie for moral lessons or graphic kills. Even if they miss the trailer, there’s no mistaking the film’s title for a James Wan-esque horror. Frankie Freako is no more nor no less than it promises to be: an homage to 80s family puppet horror that would probably make more sense to someone smoking their favourite bud.
The musical scoring is on point, with no name metal hair bands playing the action sequences, but the cinematography is the best technical aspect of this film. Pierce Derks (In A Violent Nature, 2024) elevates what would have been a Full Moon Features wannabe film into a thoroughly watchable, although not overly thought-provoking movie that asks the audience to just sit back and have a laugh. Chock full of horrible puns, Frankie Freako will stand out this Halloween season as a ridiculous bit of nostalgia that every Gen X kid will want to see.
We Watched Frankie Freako (2024) As part of this year’s Fantastic Fest 2024.
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Kate’s love of all things dark began as a child and deepened when she realized what being an adult meant. She was born with a pencil in her hand and loves nothing more than writing horrific stories to tantalize her inner demons. Kate lives in Hamilton, Ontario Canada with her husband and her boys, stirring up trouble wherever she can.