Phallacies (2024) Film Review – No Penises Were Harmed in the Making of this Film!

Posted on by Jim Cox

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Penis, willy, wang, peener, pizdă, dong, knob, kar, member, flesh trumpet, dick, cazzo, pecker, phallus, shlong, 陰茎 (inkei), pikk, plonker, ਪੀਨਿਸ (Pīnisa), John Thomas, trouser snake, etc; however you refer to it, I’m sure we are all aware of male genitalia. From the dawn of humanity, the male genitalia has been seen as a symbol of health and fertility–being immortalised in countless works of art and idolatry in many ancient cultures. However, due to many different influences over time, this admiration has been replaced by contempt and disgust at any depiction of the penis, ancient or modern.

From religious zealots damaging ancient statues to remove this affront to God, to modern condemnation through media (“The gun is good, the penis… is evil” – Zardos 1974), this censure is certainly cemented into our society with no hope of reprisal. And that is where the creative minds of Domiziano Cristopharo and Jon Devlin come in. Known as creators who refuse to shy away from taboo topics, the pair have challenged this concept in their latest production, Phallacies.

Phallacies is a 2024 extreme horror anthology film, with segments written and directed by Jon Devlin, Domiziano Cristopharo, Poison Rouge, Jack Mulvanerty, Cory DeAn Cowley, Slade Wilson, Pete Lankston, David Stojan, Brock Bones, Jake Valentine, and Adam Ford. Behold the penis as you have never seen it, feared it, conceived it… dreamed of it. The craziest, most outrageous, and moralism-free movie of the new millennium is coming… and you will come with it!

Exodus – Written and directed by Adam Ford

A young man awakens to find his eyes no longer reside on his face, but have situated themselves on another, more intimate part of his body.

Giving a brand new meaning to the term one-eyed monster, Exodus provides a lighthearted example of mild body horror that certainly contains distinctive elements. While the practical effects are simplistic in design, their implementation successfully distills both aspects of horror and comedy effectively. Moreover, the additional reveal toward the short’s conclusion further compounds this situational comedy, doubling down on the absurdity for a hilarious payoff.

Korybantes – Written and directed by Jack Mulvanerty

The self-documentation of a young man’s exploration of personal mutilation.

A dizzying blend of calm establishing shots and frenzied flagellation, Korybantes follows an atypical form of storytelling. With little to no narrative, the short relies on the juxtaposition of its conflicting visuals to drive itself forward at a break-neck pace. Featuring some uncomfortably realistic depictions of self-harm, the short’s cinematography can be unforgiving at times, providing an inescapable, front-row seat to this matinee of CBT and dismemberment.

Daphne – Written and directed by Poison Rouge

A man struggling with his gender identity is finally pushed over the edge and decides to make a change.

A visual representation of body dysmorphia and gender identity issues, Daphne utilises a Jekyll-and-Hyde-esque approach in the portrayal of this ongoing battle of personas. Featuring a fantastic use of coloured lighting and affectatious cinematography, the film’s visuals congenially relay the fractured duality of this psychological battle for dominance. Furthermore, with a fantastic performance from David Mendez Mendoza in the split role of David/Daphne, his compelling execution is undoubtedly the driving force behind the short.

Shunga – Written and directed Cory DeAn Cowley

After using ancient Japanese erotica to get his kicks, a man soon realises he has awakened something more than just his arousal.

Translating to “Spring Pictures”, erotic “Shunga” is the collective term for artwork, entertainment, and sexual education material aimed at marital couples in Edo period Japan (1600s-1860s). The utilisation of these famous pieces of erotica, such as The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, Two Lovers from The Adonis Flower collection, and numerous other timeless woodblock prints is a non-intrusive means of exploring Japan’s history of penis idolisation. Furthermore, the short delivers a slow-burning, rising tension throughout, displaying a deep understanding of both Japanese culture as well as the nuances of J-horror expertly. The implementation of deep blue illumination, in the beginning, employs a calming aura that grows in intensity with the atmosphere until the fervid reds crescendo into the climax of the short.

Madhead – Written and directed Pete Lankston

A struggling artist is haunted by the manifestation of the internal conflict of his inspiration.

Imbued with ethereal surrealism, the main narrative of Madhead is shrouded in purposeful ambiguity throughout. Mostly comprised of de-saturated digital footage, the addition of pulsating inverted colours certainly juxtaposes the muted nature of the black-and-white footage. Furthermore, the CGI effects, while noticeably lacking in quality, are unequivocally aligned with the film’s dreamlike aesthetics, actualising the hellish visuals well.

Unglorious Hole – Written and directed by Slade Wilson

A gentleman visiting the local glory hole for his enjoyment soon gets more than he bargained for.

An incredibly self-contained mix of dark comedy and uncomfortable body horror, Unglorious Hole’s dismissal of traditional storytelling allows a non-intrusive, environmental narrative to take hold. While this chronicle lacks any dialogue or development, its simplicity still relays its intended themes constructively. Furthermore, with some uncomfortably graphic practical effects and an unexpected curve ball at the climax, the short is a hilariously uncomfortable experience that is sure to leave a lasting impression on its audience.

Slut – Written and directed by Jack Valentine

A young man struggles to come to terms with his sexuality.

Purposely cryptic by design, Slut’s blend of de-saturated footage, dingy establishing shots, and claustrophobic cinematography culminates in an oppressive atmosphere throughout. While the depiction of violence is hardly ambiguous, its reasoning for such certainly is—producing an enigmatic yet enthralling escapade. Featuring some of the most intense practical effects in the anthology, their pragmatism borders on nauseating as the film reaches its climactic conclusion. Unfortunately, the short’s abrupt end and reliance on a final text scroll deliver an unsatisfying conclusion to an overall interesting experience.

Suck – Written and directed by Brock Bones, with additional writing from Cyriss Smith

While basking in the glory of nature with a friend, a young man succumbs to the temptations of a roving, dick-sucking vampire.

An unusual take on vampires, Suck is certainly a love letter to the genre. Containing elements from a wealth of different entries in the genre (and even footage from the gothic horror Vampyr (1932), the short differentiates itself by which part of the anatomy this sanguisuge creature of the night bites its prey–sensationalising the already sensual act. Conversely, the highly saturated colours juxtapose the usually muted coloration featured throughout the genre. Although one of the shorter films in the anthology, Suck undoubtedly leaves a lasting impression on its audience with its distinctive take on these monstrous strigoi.

Punching the Clown – Written and directed by Jon Devlin

A psychotic clown kidnaps a young woman and takes her to his basement to be his new plaything

An alluring mix of German expressionism and the traditional puppet show Punch and Judy, Punching the Clown is an example of the exaggerated style of films from the silent era. The film’s increased contrast, deepened blacks, and dirty, overexposed whites deliver an authentic representation of early 20th-century cinema such as The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920), or Nosferatu (1924). The traditional score provides an excellent level of tension, maintaining an uneasy atmosphere throughout with its “cat on a casio” abruptness (only the cat is a penis). Furthermore, with an unexpected twist towards its conclusion, the short certainly packs an unexpected punch.

Echoes of Ecstacy – Written and directed by David Stojan

A young man looking for light entertainment decides to watch an adult film. However, what starts as BDSM and blood play soon deteriorates into something much darker.

Utilising a mix of VHS and digital footage, Echos of Ecstacy’s recreation of a mythical snuff film is eerily realistic. Relaying this imagery through an analog TV, the short makes the most of the low fidelity quality of this outdated medium–compounding its intended pragmatism through its second-hand view. Additionally, the warm saturated colours of the VHS footage are a stark contrast to the digital framing device’s muted colour scheme–emphasizing the wash of deep claret red on display.

Venus Rebirth – Written and directed by Domiziano Cristopharo

After nurturing a strange plant found on a hike to bloom, this unfamiliar flora causes its saviour to undergo severe physiological changes after an intimate occurrence.

Effortlessly sleek from start to finish, Venus Rebirth oozes ultra-modern charm with its stylish visuals. The short’s contemporary cinematography, highly saturated colour scheme, and concomitant neoteric score deliver an undeniable cyberpunk-esque aesthetic. Additionally, the inclusion of Japanese proverbs, accompanying kanji, and wardrobe further cement this tech-noir sensibility. Effectuated through a mix of practical effects and CGI, the short’s body horror is an impressive visualisation of degradation and rebirth–the gradual metamorphosis undergone being a viscerally sodden presentation of organic decomposition.

An outrageous collection of some of the most controversial shorts ever made, Phallacies is a bold and unapologetic look at one of censorship’s biggest fears. With its unbridled exploration of taboo subjects, the tentative blending of creative innovation, and the embrace of atypical structure; the film is a diverse assemblage of some of the best underground filmmakers around. Although, as with any anthology, certain shorts will undoubtedly resonate with some audiences more than others. However, those with a taste for the extreme (and a hunger for dick) are sure to get the most out of this figurative middle finger to the suppression of art.

Phallacies is open to a limited pre-order from Dec 13 to Feb 13 available here.

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